Monday, July 9, 2007


I hail from The Goober State. It has other names, but Goober State is the best one. Goober means peanut. In addition, it is probably the only word that is ever accidentally spelled 'booger.' It is also used as an insult sometimes, i.e. "Francis, stop trying on mom's bras, you goober." This summer I live in Providence, which is the capital of Rhode Island. Rhode Island is The Ocean State because it's the only state that is by the ocean. Missouri is called the Come On State.

I come from The Goober State, born and raised. Goober roots are far-reaching and everlasting, but Georgia is just peanuts (ha). This summer, I put my goobery roots down in Providence. Providence, this summer, is PEANUT BUTTER.

(Peanut butter. That most blissful of creamy crunchy silky sticky spreadable spoonable goos ever invented. I believe that if I were to meet the person who invented this goobery goodness, I could very quickly become quite amorous...)

Illinois is called The Sucker State.

A sucker is a fish, or someone who spends four months in Russia, whose only nicknames I know of are The Motherland and The Fatherland, craving peanut butter. In that country, the words 'peanut butter' make no sense. Not just because the phrase doesn't translate directly, but because the concept makes no sense to Russians. Russians make no sense to me. The Russian words for the american substance called peanut butter translate to 'peanut paste,' but the only people who know what this term means know it because they have met Americans before. And every Russian who's met an American before has heard this term, because crazy Americans are all craving it like mad all the time.

Bhutan is the Land of the Thunder Dragon.


Michelle Kirstin Snow said...

I come from Virginia. It is the Old Dominion state, which is funny because peanut butter never gets old.

h. daniel f. said...

I'm from the Golden State. DID MIDAS TOUCH MY PEANUT BUTTER?!?!